I Don't Have All the Answers but, I Know What I Know: Can't Buy Me Love

 It seems so simple… a healthy thriving relationship between two adults who are responsible, mature and focused on building and uplifting one another.  A team, a partnership.  What is so difficult in obtaining that, why is something that would seem to be a normal…reasonable even, right?  So why would the Lord withhold?  If it is not punishment, if I am responsible enough to handle everything else I am charged with like finances, a career, and ministry, what makes marriage so “important” that I have not been deemed eligible to receive it? 

I had made the statement on Monday that the Lord is not holding over your head your past or any failures for that matter to say you are not worthy.  I am currently a pre-law student.  In some of my foundational legal classes we learned the importance of properly applying case precedence.  Case precedence is the legal decision that forms the authoritative rule of future cases that are of a similar nature.  So if in fact perfection was a requirement to be loved….no one would be.  If dotting all the eyes and crossing all the tees was the prerequisite then there would be very few relationships or marriages for that matter.

Remember when I suggested that our history/first relationships have established our preferences, be it consciously or subconsciously…We have this image in our minds of what we “need” to be or do to qualify. That is why we think or say things like, “ If I make more money, then I will find the perfect wife…if I get my credit together then the Lord will bless me with a husband…if I lose weight…if I drove a better car…if I dressed more provocative…if I…”

Not that having good credit is not important, or that being employed and self-sufficient shouldn’t be a priority.  The point that I am getting at is, trying to “become” what you think you should be or what you have been told you need to be to prove to God you’re ready for a mate…won’t work!  You will be frustrated, disappointed and ultimately resent the Lord for what you have been told/thought you needed to be to receive.  

YOU CAN’T EARN LOVE!  Love accepts you as you are, loves you in spite of your flaws, LOVE covers a multitude of sin…. So the thought that you need to be anything other than simply you to be loved is absurd!

Having good credit and being financially stable help make marriage more pleasant but they are not requirements… Having a degree is nice, establishing yourself in your career helps you develop your sense of purpose and is proof of your drive, intellect and tenacity but is not a REQUIREMENT for love! 

And maybe that is it, for some…Learn what love is by letting LOVE love you! Let love heal you, let love liberate you, let love grow you and groom you! Let LOVE overshadow you until you are soo filled up that you are oozing with its afterglow…. And if you ask where is this love, it is all around you.  It is in the kind words spoken by a friend, a hug from a child, His provision and providence over your life that you didn’t merit but He gave simply because He loves you.  And rest in that assurance that LOVE never fails!  In time… you will have a physical expression of that love but until then, let HIM love you!