So... I really wish I knew what I wanted to say, this season of my life has brought so many unexpected lows. You go to bed feeling at peace with it and wake up feeling like something is missing. That panic, that breath taking fear that something you loved, wanted treasured is gone!
Trying to find the right words to write it instead of speaking it clouds it so till none of it seem really relevant and as if your mind creates its own rebuttal. Maybe it is because, not maybe, but because it is not relevant. Not that my feelings or emotions are not relevant but that the are not the END neither the deciding factor to the outcome of it all. So placing so much importance on this moment, these feelings....seem so childish, for a woman of faith right?
There is a stronger me that realizes what I am experiencing is a form of "mental" war far... an attack to draw me out of the peace and will of God and push me into responding out of my fear and anxiousness. But I heard the Spirit of the Lord and the man of God say, be anxious for nothing.
I already know that God is in control and truly there is nothing for ME to do but be still and wait on Him.
I trust the Lord to handle this situation and to work it not just for my good, but to His Glory. When I think of it that way I feel a little less defeated, strong even! I am beginning to get a little lonely, with having no one to interact with, but I am grateful for this place I am in. I am hoping to discover a greater me here. Knowing that I am overshadowed by a greater power and authority than I...I... feel like how Christ must have felt in the Garden of Gethsemane..."nevertheless, let thy will be done."
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Break the Box
Mark 14:3 - While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
Somethings have become rhetorical more than they have become anything of substance and value concerning the things of God. And though there is no new thing under the sun, there should be new revelations or understandings that as man kind grows and matures in our relationship and experiences with God that we should be able to derive from the word of God. And not to sound pious, I have gotten a little worn with my gender being approached in the same way.
Sermons as it relates to women tend to be geared toward the same topic, promiscuity. These sermons tend to highlight the shame one might have felt being promiscuous woman and the gratitude that should come with being delivered or even the issues/emotional baggage that come from the disappointments, hurts, infidelities, abuse and neglect that "our" gender suffer as if men don't carry this same baggage. I find there only few ministers that dare approach these topics as it pertains to men. Never the less, I found that women kind have been placed in a box, limited in how we should be approached or remembered and all the while encouraging us to get over "it" or "forget" this shame, though we are constantly reminded of it.
The scripture carefully reminds that the older woman are to teach the young women how to be chaste, good wives and loving mothers. But we have gotten so caught up in talking about how bad we were before the Lord that no one is TEACHING! I guess it is because remembering where God has brought you from is praise worthy but if no one ever has tell you how to get beyond the gates of bondage then you will spend the rest of your liberty walking in the wilderness.
What "I" would like to see is real balance taught from the Holy desk. Show me as a woman who have experienced these things to not just have gratitude that I am free but show me what to do next with all this new found freedom, help me reach my potential don't just tell me I have it.
The scripture that the Lord gave me in reference to the subject caused me to realize that religiousity will want to keep me boxed in, boxed in to who I was and limiting my value based on who I used to be, negating to instruct me that who I used to be is reason enough to break the cycle of thinking and self imaging that has kept me not just bound, but from real worship.... worship! Breaking the box frees me to give God my best and for Him to be glorified! So break the box!
whewww... That felt good! LOL
Now and Always...Be Blessed,
Nikki G
Somethings have become rhetorical more than they have become anything of substance and value concerning the things of God. And though there is no new thing under the sun, there should be new revelations or understandings that as man kind grows and matures in our relationship and experiences with God that we should be able to derive from the word of God. And not to sound pious, I have gotten a little worn with my gender being approached in the same way.
Sermons as it relates to women tend to be geared toward the same topic, promiscuity. These sermons tend to highlight the shame one might have felt being promiscuous woman and the gratitude that should come with being delivered or even the issues/emotional baggage that come from the disappointments, hurts, infidelities, abuse and neglect that "our" gender suffer as if men don't carry this same baggage. I find there only few ministers that dare approach these topics as it pertains to men. Never the less, I found that women kind have been placed in a box, limited in how we should be approached or remembered and all the while encouraging us to get over "it" or "forget" this shame, though we are constantly reminded of it.
The scripture carefully reminds that the older woman are to teach the young women how to be chaste, good wives and loving mothers. But we have gotten so caught up in talking about how bad we were before the Lord that no one is TEACHING! I guess it is because remembering where God has brought you from is praise worthy but if no one ever has tell you how to get beyond the gates of bondage then you will spend the rest of your liberty walking in the wilderness.
What "I" would like to see is real balance taught from the Holy desk. Show me as a woman who have experienced these things to not just have gratitude that I am free but show me what to do next with all this new found freedom, help me reach my potential don't just tell me I have it.
The scripture that the Lord gave me in reference to the subject caused me to realize that religiousity will want to keep me boxed in, boxed in to who I was and limiting my value based on who I used to be, negating to instruct me that who I used to be is reason enough to break the cycle of thinking and self imaging that has kept me not just bound, but from real worship.... worship! Breaking the box frees me to give God my best and for Him to be glorified! So break the box!
whewww... That felt good! LOL
Now and Always...Be Blessed,
Nikki G
Monday, August 1, 2011
The Firm Foundation
This morning, as I do on most Mondays, I began to ask the Lord what is the "theme" for the week, what is it that I should be focusing on and what is it that you would have me to say to your people, should I be asked *smile*.
And I recalled the thought He gave me from last week. It was from Ephesians 4: 29
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."
And even when I read this last week I was reminded that if we are displeased with our lives we should fist check the fruit of our lips (i.e. the things we say in daily communication). And in meditating on that briefly I was reminded on how connected our thoughts are to our words and our words connected to our actions.
With all that being said, the Lord gave me this scripture, the code of conduct for any believers thought life.
Philipians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
It all sound so noble an poetic when read, but when put into practice, it is down right difficult. This means, one has to actually "pay attention" to each thought, inspecting it as part of quality control, examining the root of it to ensure that it came from a proper source and that it lines up with the word of God. And then casting it down if it exalts itself against the knowledge of God!
2Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"
Such a discipline! But this is the very foundation to living the new and abundant life that has been promised to us and is the foundation into ensuring that all other areas of our life line up! The enemy uses our thoughts as a point of entrapment, dressing them up to as if they are our original ideas, playing those areas of vulnerability where doubt, disappointments and fears dwell. So you see it is more that just having a positive outlook and a skipping though the tulips mentality. It requires for us to be guarded and disciplined enough to cast down a thought or imagination that is counter productive to the will of God for our lives.
Our thoughts are very key to our victory and in some case, in MOST cases that is. This is truly where our deliverance begins. So what are you thinking on? What have you given your creative power and authority to? Even still do your actions bare fruit of positive thinking and your lips a spring forth water from the well of living water that hearers are edified by what you say?
Well, if you are anything like me, then this too is your challenge for the week! LOL To really pay attention to what you think and allow God to show you where you go wrong so that you become greater witness and a happier person. Be Blessed!
And I recalled the thought He gave me from last week. It was from Ephesians 4: 29
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."
And even when I read this last week I was reminded that if we are displeased with our lives we should fist check the fruit of our lips (i.e. the things we say in daily communication). And in meditating on that briefly I was reminded on how connected our thoughts are to our words and our words connected to our actions.
With all that being said, the Lord gave me this scripture, the code of conduct for any believers thought life.
Philipians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
It all sound so noble an poetic when read, but when put into practice, it is down right difficult. This means, one has to actually "pay attention" to each thought, inspecting it as part of quality control, examining the root of it to ensure that it came from a proper source and that it lines up with the word of God. And then casting it down if it exalts itself against the knowledge of God!
2Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"
Such a discipline! But this is the very foundation to living the new and abundant life that has been promised to us and is the foundation into ensuring that all other areas of our life line up! The enemy uses our thoughts as a point of entrapment, dressing them up to as if they are our original ideas, playing those areas of vulnerability where doubt, disappointments and fears dwell. So you see it is more that just having a positive outlook and a skipping though the tulips mentality. It requires for us to be guarded and disciplined enough to cast down a thought or imagination that is counter productive to the will of God for our lives.
Our thoughts are very key to our victory and in some case, in MOST cases that is. This is truly where our deliverance begins. So what are you thinking on? What have you given your creative power and authority to? Even still do your actions bare fruit of positive thinking and your lips a spring forth water from the well of living water that hearers are edified by what you say?
Well, if you are anything like me, then this too is your challenge for the week! LOL To really pay attention to what you think and allow God to show you where you go wrong so that you become greater witness and a happier person. Be Blessed!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Changing Keys: The Blending of the Discorded of the Note
I guess with the constant weight of adversity, the pain, the hurt, the struggle...that it had caused me become silent with the "intention" that it would cause me to withhold my witness and my testimony. But I am so glad that greater is He that is in Me than he that is in the world!
It was the designed from the enemy that he could shut me down, by either intimidating me into silence with a false sense of submission or by destroying what mattered most. BUT GOD! Lord, I am grateful that your sight is so much greater than mine and that your plan for my life is so much greater than even I know and that no matter what you don't give up on me and never leave me over to the hand of my enemy. I won't pretend like I understood the plan/attack or even that I am (w/o you) able to withstand the trial or temptation, because more times than most, I realize that I had given into the pressure that he had applied through various sources and even my deliverance was not of my own doing but by your divine favor, grace, mercy, and your prefect will for my life. It was because of these things that I was not destroyed and that I didn't give into the destruction. I guess today I see more clearly than I have in a while. And though I still hurt and even may be at times sad, I DO realize that you know what is best for me and I pray that this would be inspiration for me to trust you more.
AMEN!
It was the designed from the enemy that he could shut me down, by either intimidating me into silence with a false sense of submission or by destroying what mattered most. BUT GOD! Lord, I am grateful that your sight is so much greater than mine and that your plan for my life is so much greater than even I know and that no matter what you don't give up on me and never leave me over to the hand of my enemy. I won't pretend like I understood the plan/attack or even that I am (w/o you) able to withstand the trial or temptation, because more times than most, I realize that I had given into the pressure that he had applied through various sources and even my deliverance was not of my own doing but by your divine favor, grace, mercy, and your prefect will for my life. It was because of these things that I was not destroyed and that I didn't give into the destruction. I guess today I see more clearly than I have in a while. And though I still hurt and even may be at times sad, I DO realize that you know what is best for me and I pray that this would be inspiration for me to trust you more.
AMEN!
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