I guess with the constant weight of adversity, the pain, the hurt, the struggle...that it had caused me become silent with the "intention" that it would cause me to withhold my witness and my testimony. But I am so glad that greater is He that is in Me than he that is in the world!
It was the designed from the enemy that he could shut me down, by either intimidating me into silence with a false sense of submission or by destroying what mattered most. BUT GOD! Lord, I am grateful that your sight is so much greater than mine and that your plan for my life is so much greater than even I know and that no matter what you don't give up on me and never leave me over to the hand of my enemy. I won't pretend like I understood the plan/attack or even that I am (w/o you) able to withstand the trial or temptation, because more times than most, I realize that I had given into the pressure that he had applied through various sources and even my deliverance was not of my own doing but by your divine favor, grace, mercy, and your prefect will for my life. It was because of these things that I was not destroyed and that I didn't give into the destruction. I guess today I see more clearly than I have in a while. And though I still hurt and even may be at times sad, I DO realize that you know what is best for me and I pray that this would be inspiration for me to trust you more.
AMEN!
