He Was There a All The Time

Today I have felt so loved!!! Didn't meet anyone, didn't hang out! Just Him (the Holy Ghost) in His awesomeness has simply been WITH me...Sometimes the love we have been longing to receive is and has been right there all the time!

Chosen

I think He chose me for this… I think He knew that at some point I would relinquish my will and say, “Your will not mine”….  As much as I know I was created to be a wife I am just as anointed enough not more to be a warrior and even more specifically more than a conqueror.  So though I might grip about what I don’t like about being single I realize that I am being anointed to carry out a much greater purpose.  Just think…if it was not for my journey and His will you wouldn’t have this moment of me sharing my truths, my hurts, my life, and my intimate moments with the Father…

Have you considered who you were purposed to help in this journey? Have you considered who you are being equipped to minister to that the singles ministry at your church can’t reach or what young man or woman trust your testimony and your witness?  Have you ever considered that these moments, though at times trying, difficult, and less than desirable are equipping you to bring someone through with hope?

Again I say, you being single is not punishment; the Lord is not holding your mate for ransom! He has brought you to this place in your life to prepare you, not just for a mate but for the lives that you will touch.  So while you hold on a little while longer, don’t allow the enemy to ever trick you into believing that the Lord has forsaken you or has forgotten about you.

I don’t know why He decided to take me the scenic route on my journey, but I am so grateful that He thought enough of me that He would allow me to use my experiences to bring hope and deliverance. And this… I know!

Winning the War

It is my hope that the last seven days have been liberating.  Detoxing you from all the myths and bad communication you have heard from others and have said to yourself.  I hope you feel more empowered, even encouraged about this stage of your life, realizing that God is faithful to give us our heart's desire when we simply delight in His will.  So what do we tackle next? Warfare!

If I can just be brutally honest, one of the reasons I dislike being single is because of the warfare associated with it.  You are tempted and tried and tempted and tried and even pulled by your own lust...did I say your own lust!?! Yup, those things in you not yet yielded, those things you thought you had already resolved...residing in YOU, that make you "stray" from the life of holiness and discipline.   

I promise, tonight's blog won’t be lengthy, we have a whole seven days to deal with this one area. If you have not already associated the 40 day series to any other 40 day scenario in the Bible, I would like to direct your attention to Jesus, who was tempted 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness.  This can be found in the book of Matthew 4th chapter.  The first temptation Jesus was presented with was to turn stones into bread...the tempter knew that though Jesus was divine he was still a man.  A man that hungered and thirst just like we do!  He knew that Jesus had a need, it was natural,t here was no shame in him being hungry or even wanting to eat...The temptation was only a temptation when Jesus had agreed with the will of the Father to "refrain" from eating to fulfill a purpose....

See this is the heart of the matter...we all have a desire to be fulfilled, to have our natural need for companionship and intimacy met! However this time...anything presented outside of the TIMING of God is at war with the will of God.  See, this season in your life has been set aside to accomplish something greater than simply fulfilling a hunger. And if in fact you have become aware of this, then you a right candidate to be tempted...for the enemy to remind you that you have a need AND the ability to fulfill it.  The test is refraining from using our natural ability to meet the need.  

All temptation is NOT about sex! We make choices everyday based on what we need and desire.  We are analytical creatures equipped to make decisions to fulfill what is lacking, the greatest temptation is to not rely on us but to trust God enough to yield fully to His process.  

Do you see where I am headed?  This season in our lives is not just a test of wills, but has been divinely orchestrated to bring us into something greater... marriage is only one dimension of what we were created to do.  And if we focus too much on the “absence” of what we want then that hunger has the capacity to override truth and discipline.  The key to overcoming any temptation is relying on what God has already said about it…and using His word to anchor our thoughts, emotions and desires.  I hope this helps!  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don’t have all the answers, but I know what I know!

Taking a Moment to Reflect

So as you head into this weekend I have a few questions...

How has what you read so far impacted you? Are there specific areas you would like for me to focus on?

Have you gained any new revelations about you?

Have you been liberated, convicted, encouraged???

Taking time to reflect is another opportunity for The Lord to minister. Over the next week we will dive into the warfare that can accompany being single.

I hope the content had been just as thought provoking as it had been inspiring...I have felt like often instead of being ministered to we are talked at!

SOO...Let me know your thoughts! I would love to get your insight, feedback, and revelations! It is my hope that knowing you are not alone in this has been up lifting. And your feedback will fan the flames as we move forward!

I Don't Have All the Answers but, I Know What I Know: Preparing for the Promise (A Lesson in Faith)

Yesterday’s blog was GOOOOD!!! LOL…  If I must say so myself!

No really….for me it reminded me that though I am responsible for preparing myself for my promise (love & marriage) it is nothing that I earn!  Because love is not merited on good works, it is freely given. When I think about the years of trying to impress God and prove to Him that I was worthy!  When He was trying to get me to see that I was worthy simply because He made me! And that I am worthy of real love!

After I posted the blog last night I thought some of the teaching on preparing to be a wife or preparing to be married that I have heard and I am not saying that preparing is not essential it is just not a prerequisite of being loved… and I think we with the microphones miss that when trying to minister to the single saved.  I am actually grateful on this end of the journey that He didn’t reward my efforts with respect to allowing me to think I had done something to earn it. 

What comes to mind is this thought, “if you enter into a marriage believing that you earned it you will treat is as a trophy and not as a ministry”...  Good right?!?!  We save that topic for a little later LOL

But let’s dive into this preparation thing a little more first…  See, I had previously approached preparation in fear and not faith.  I didn’t do it in belief that He was going to reward me, I prepared in fear that He wouldn’t find me worthy or that I didn’t qualify…  So for however many years, I had been operating in what I thought was faith but it was actually fear.  This is probably why I couldn’t be consistent with my preparation or faithful in my waiting… 

I would have these dips…3 months then dip…6 months, 9 months, 1 year then dip… because when nothing would manifest I would get discouraged that after doing my best, that my best wasn’t good enough!  Not for a man, but for God!  See, I can get a man, that is not my issue LOL …It was getting the RIGHT man!  Receiving the man that my life requires… and for a long time I didn’t see myself as being worthy of having that kind of man IN my life…because I surely I didn’t measure up to all the things people said I needed to be, and surely I didn’t measure up because if I had then wouldn’t the Lord have rewarded my efforts by now???  If I was doing everything that I was supposed to do, going to church, serving in ministry, paying my tithes, fasting, praying fasting THEN wouldn’t He see I was ready and reward me with the man that my life required….  And since I had done all I knew right and He didn’t reward… I had figured it was because; I just wasn’t good enough for “that” kind of man! Holy Ghost filled, sanctified, fire baptized, walking up right, speaking in tongues, prayer warring, intellectual kind of man!

So I found myself, attracting myself… when I really reflect, most of the men that I loved, I LOVED because I could see me in them.  I could see the pain of rejection, them wanting to be loved, accepted, affirmed and found worthy of love and loyalty!  Since I could identify with that pain, I wanted to give them what no one had given me, love without merit!  Not realizing that it was “house of mirrors effect” …whereby seeing myself was the inevitable trap only for the moment I thought I saw my way out, I would just keep running back into…myself!  Haven’t you ever wondered why you keep attracting the same person, just with different names?!?! LOL …I am laughing but I am so serious!

Not realizing that as saved as I was, as Holy Ghost filled as I was, as anointed as I was… what I WAS was still broken…  I had not removed the burial clothes that had me bound.  It is THIS mindset that is fueled by fear but not by faith!

What comes to mind is a sermon I heard preached by Pastor Dexter Nutall (New Bethel Baptist, Washington, DC)…

His sermon text was from the book of I Samuel chapter one.  If you are not familiar with the history of the text, I will try my best to give you the abbreviated version…. Here you have a young woman by the name of Hannah.  Hannah is married to a very prominent man by the name of Elkanah.  We know that Elkanah was wealthy because he didn’t have just one wife but he had two wives.  And though he loved Hannah, she could not give him any children.  Because the other wife was fertile, she liked to taunt Hannah.  This was very upsetting to Hannah. Even though she knew her husband loved her she still felt unfulfilled… 

Year after year, Hannah would go and bring sacrifices to the house of the Lord and pray in hopes that God would hear her and respond by giving her a child.  But year after year, she was no closer to receiving what she wanted than she was the year before.  Around the 7^th verse, you find Hannah in a place of complete devastation… her countenance was sorrowful; she wouldn’t eat and couldn’t stop crying.  Hannah again goes to the house of God to lay her petition at the altar and she continued to pray and cry.  The priest, Eli, heard her and after some dialogue around the matter, he told her to go in peace and that she would conceive.  Immediately she stopped crying, her countenance was lifted and went back home eating and drinking…it was not before long she conceived and gave birth to the promise.

 

Often when the message is preached the focus is put on the vow (that act of commitment, the human participation/work of effort presented to God) that Hannah makes the last time at the altar.  But what Pastor Nutall suggested during his sermon is that had Hannah responded in faith the way she did when Eli, the priest, said that her prayer was heard by leaving with a lifted countenance, without fear or doubt that God’s delay was not a denial, the first time she had gone to the altar maybe she would not have to experienced the delay in the manifestation… An observation often overlooked but essential in the exchange… SEE, Eli’s proclamation to Hannah, was in fact, the change agent because He allowed her to HEAR! Because faith comes by hearing… the word Eli spoke gave Hannah faith to believe, freeing her to act in faith by waiting patiently and not responding to the absence of the manifestation in fear.  We are sometime so bound up in the grave’s clothes… bound by what we think we need to do to earn the blessing of God we can’t hear Him proclaiming the promise…

What did you hear Him say the last time you left the altar? Did you leave in confidence that He has heard your petition or did you walk away trying to figure out what you can say or do next in order to get His attention to respond?  Maybe, just maybe He doesn’t want you to offer Him anything other than your heart.  Maybe He just wants you to get up from your prayer post hearing His promise of provision over your life…believing that He knows what you need and why you need it.  And maybe, just maybe He is waiting for you to respond in faith!!!  Because love made perfect really does cast out fear!

I don’t have all the answer, but I know…what I know!

I Don't Have All the Answers but, I Know What I Know: Can't Buy Me Love

 It seems so simple… a healthy thriving relationship between two adults who are responsible, mature and focused on building and uplifting one another.  A team, a partnership.  What is so difficult in obtaining that, why is something that would seem to be a normal…reasonable even, right?  So why would the Lord withhold?  If it is not punishment, if I am responsible enough to handle everything else I am charged with like finances, a career, and ministry, what makes marriage so “important” that I have not been deemed eligible to receive it? 

I had made the statement on Monday that the Lord is not holding over your head your past or any failures for that matter to say you are not worthy.  I am currently a pre-law student.  In some of my foundational legal classes we learned the importance of properly applying case precedence.  Case precedence is the legal decision that forms the authoritative rule of future cases that are of a similar nature.  So if in fact perfection was a requirement to be loved….no one would be.  If dotting all the eyes and crossing all the tees was the prerequisite then there would be very few relationships or marriages for that matter.

Remember when I suggested that our history/first relationships have established our preferences, be it consciously or subconsciously…We have this image in our minds of what we “need” to be or do to qualify. That is why we think or say things like, “ If I make more money, then I will find the perfect wife…if I get my credit together then the Lord will bless me with a husband…if I lose weight…if I drove a better car…if I dressed more provocative…if I…”

Not that having good credit is not important, or that being employed and self-sufficient shouldn’t be a priority.  The point that I am getting at is, trying to “become” what you think you should be or what you have been told you need to be to prove to God you’re ready for a mate…won’t work!  You will be frustrated, disappointed and ultimately resent the Lord for what you have been told/thought you needed to be to receive.  

YOU CAN’T EARN LOVE!  Love accepts you as you are, loves you in spite of your flaws, LOVE covers a multitude of sin…. So the thought that you need to be anything other than simply you to be loved is absurd!

Having good credit and being financially stable help make marriage more pleasant but they are not requirements… Having a degree is nice, establishing yourself in your career helps you develop your sense of purpose and is proof of your drive, intellect and tenacity but is not a REQUIREMENT for love! 

And maybe that is it, for some…Learn what love is by letting LOVE love you! Let love heal you, let love liberate you, let love grow you and groom you! Let LOVE overshadow you until you are soo filled up that you are oozing with its afterglow…. And if you ask where is this love, it is all around you.  It is in the kind words spoken by a friend, a hug from a child, His provision and providence over your life that you didn’t merit but He gave simply because He loves you.  And rest in that assurance that LOVE never fails!  In time… you will have a physical expression of that love but until then, let HIM love you!